Take A Trip To Accordion Land.

Today’s stroll took us past one of the many un-used shops in Northenden Village. If my memory serves me well this little outlet used to be known as ‘Bar Mono’. I have never seen it open, but it seems that recently work has begun in earnest to make something of this empty dwelling. The ‘Bar Mono’ sign has been taken down to reveal the shops former guise as ‘Accordion Land’. Crikey. I’ve heard an accordion once and it wasn’t pleasant, so to think of a whole land of accordions makes my ears begin to bleed. Surely there was never a big enough demand for an ‘Accordion Land’? It would have been best suited to just running the business on a smaller scale in your back garden as ‘Accordion Shed’ or ‘Accordion Wendy House’.


From ‘Accordion Land’ we walked towards the river and towards what Ziggy and I have deemed ‘The Biggest Shame in Northenden’. With these lovely summer days stretching out into the night, the attraction of drinking beer in the sun is an ever nagging urge. As we live so close to the river and spend a considerable amount of time walking Ziggy down there, we do often get that parched feeling that can only be suppressed by a nice pint of Guinness. Wouldn’t it be lovely to have a nice, big, drinking establishment sitting on the river so that dog walkers, canoe drivers, wild garlic pickers and other folk may quench their thirst in the glow of the early evening sun? As a business idea, you’d have thought that this was a fail-safe notion. However it appears that someone already had the idea and it didn’t work out. How in holy hell is the ‘The Tatton Arms Tavern’ a closed, wreckage of a pub?! It just doesn’t make sense. It should be the jewel in Northenden’s drunken, lopsided crown!! Yet here it stands, alone and abandoned. The hangover has long gone and you can no longer even smell the stale beer on the lip of it’s welcoming door step. Tragic.


Wiping a tear we head for home. On a bus stop I spy a popular advert for a clothes company called ‘Pretty Little Thing’. I’ve seen the poster on a bus stop in Altrincham outside work. On that occasion a chap (who shan’t be named, but he works in the same building as me and I know his daughter, ‘cos she used to work with me and I had a mate who went out with her) had wandered over to the poster and retorted “Ooooo I’d like to see my wife/girlfriend squeezed into one of these….” He was of course referring to the bright, neon ‘bralet’ that the model in the picture was squeezed into which made her look like some sort of ‘Mummified Lollipop Lady’. At least he’d be able to see her when the lights go out, glowing like a belisha beacon. Here is a picture of Ziggy next to her legs. Shit shoes lady.